Nine Books (At Once!) Is Now Available in Print!
Nine Books are about the number nine. There are literally nine separate books of nine different themes and nine different colors, each with nine pieces written over a roughly nine year period. Get yours here!
All Nine Books are also posted digitally on this site. Make a one time payment to access exciting multimedia content for all the books!
Book of School
This book is about me coping with my first years as a community college adjunct English instructor. Even if you’ve never taught you might relate with… Unflushed toilets! Broken souldishes! Living stuffed animals! Ignored Beat legends! Palm tree obsessions! Presidents who rhyme with ‘Dump!’ Relentlessly fidgety toddlers! Disorganized books! and the unbearable sounds of the adjunct instructor office!
Book of Food
This book is about the small, mundane ways food comes up in my life. You might relate with… Lamar’s Donuts! Domino’s Pizza! M&M’s! Drinking fountains! Cheerios! Arby’s! Samoa Girl Scout Cookies! Motel breakfasts! and middle-of-the-night King Soopers runs!
Book of Pain
This book is about my months long, painful ordeal with kidney stones. Even if you’ve never gone thru something like that you might relate with… Toys for grownups! Questionable alternative medicine! Restaurant managers on the verge of breakdowns! The Counting Crows! The horrors of World War II! Rating all your heartbreaks! Birds which are challenging to photograph! Good doctors vs bad doctors! and the moment just before we all hadta wear masks!
Book of Nature
This book is about the great outdoors and how I was drawn to spend more time there. You might relate with… the mighty lion! saving the polar bears! mountaintops which stay white all year! Hefty Bags caught in trees! Butterfly omens! Effective bug spray! the limitations of an iPhone camera! and the threat of killer bees!
Book of Birds
This is a book about my great new passion, birding, often as a symbol for my internal issues. You might relate with… Song Sparrows! American Robins! Summer Tanagers! Black-capped Chickadees! Common Grackles! Northern Cardinals! Whimbrels! Canada Geese! and House Finches!
Book of Writing
This is a book about the struggles of being a writer. You might relate with… What happens to your neck after a lifetime of writing! Release parties! The power of poetry! Frankenstein! Everything eventually ending! Your time passing you by! The need for external validation! More need for external validation! And children drawing cartoons of the founding fathers!
Book of Love
This is a book about my experiences trying to find and understand love. You might relate with… Drunk energy healers! German accents! Kissing! Twitter outrage! Dogs eating panties! Dead scorpions! Pretending to more edgy than you are! How long you should wash your hands! and the Bowerbirds of Australia and Papua New Guinea!
Book of Baseball
This is a book about my favorite sport to write about. You might relate with… college intramurals! nervous breakdowns! pros from the 1980s! European Starlings! The ever increasing polarization of the country! Baseball cards! Skeletons! Ballplayers in drag! and Reasons why they sometimes cancel games!
Book of Nothing
This is a book about ____ You might relate with… Getting trapped in suburban parking lots! Peeing in hotel rooms! Being called ‘the worst’ at something! Dead rockstars! Dead cosmonauts! Falling asleep at the wheel! Bullshit internships! Fluctuations of self esteem at the bank! and Melting cowboys!