Latest from Book of Pain: “Pain Scale”

When I got to the ER the Doctor asked me, “On a scale of 1-10 how bad is your pain right now?”

“10,” I said, and they gave me some drugs.

When the Paramedics put me in the ambulance to another hospital they asked me the same thing.

“Still an 8,” I told them, and they assured me we’d be there soon.

When I was admitted to the hospital the Nurse asked me too.

“Back up to 9!” I said, and then they gave me some more drugs, and tucked me in a bed, and handed me a tv remote, and let me order anything I wanted off room service. I got cream of wheat with brown sugar.

“Pain now?” the Nurse checked back in later.

“Maybe 3 or 4,” I said.

“Wonderful!”

“Thank you for asking, by the way.”

“It’s my job to.”

“Well, this is a good system. I’ve always felt people don’t care about my pain as much as they should.”

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