They were just standing there near my pump, looking like something from an earlier era of The West. Vests, belts, boots – all leather. Flannels, buckles, blue jeans – all faded. Hats, side-burns, mustaches – all huge. There was probably a sixshooter in there somewhere. There was probably a horse&saddle just over there. “Uh oh,”Continue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “Two Cowboys at an Arizona Gas Station during the Youknow…””
Author Archives: jonathanmontgomery
Latest from Book of Nothing: “Sleepy Cab”
Sometimes on the weekends I’d be driving cab so late that all the drunks had gotten home and it had become the next day. And then I’d get a DIA trip. It would mean another 50 minutes there and 50 minutes back, but it would also mean another 100 bucks, so I couldn’t pass itContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “Sleepy Cab””
Latest from Book of Nothing: “Complete Success/Total Failure”
I very fluidly strolled into the bank to get laundry money. There was no line, and I was able to go right up to the teller. “Quarters,” I said. “How much?” he asked. “Ten bucks,” I said without missing a beat. I had two five-dollar bills all ready to go. They slipped effortlessly from myContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “Complete Success/Total Failure””
Latest from Book of Nothing: “Internshit”
In college I interned briefly at a radio station. I loved the radio and believed at the time my future career needed to directly relate to something I loved. I thought everything there would feel just like it did listening to my favorite songs, but I soon realized it was just an office. With computersContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “Internshit””
Latest from Book of Nothing: “The Soviet Space Program”
Mmm… there’s nothing scarier than the Soviet Space Program… wanting so badly to beat America to every milestone unconcerned with the value of the individual… just as many of ours died in horrible explosions but the Russians were so secretive it’s easy to imagine way worse things were happening like maybe they were even causingContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “The Soviet Space Program””
Latest from Book of Nothing: “I Lost My Winter Hat at the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame”
It was a good winter hat. Blue. Knit. Fit real snug over my head. There was no silly poof-up or anything. I’d had it for a couple years and expected to have it a couple more. It was January in Cleveland, so I hadta wear it when my girlfriend and I went to The RockNRollContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “I Lost My Winter Hat at the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame””
Latest from Book of Nothing: “The Worst Cab Driver I’ve Ever Had”
I picked up this woman downtown. She said where she was going and nothing else. Most passengers said nothing. And I said nothing. And we both liked it that way. We got all the way to her drop off before she spoke again. “You’re the worst cab driver I’ve ever had.”
Latest from Book of Nothing: “First Moment in Hotel Room”
Yesss just like the housekeepers left it like no one has ever stayed there before air crisp scent fresh carpet vacuumed kingsized bed sheets pulled up so tightly row of pillows upright against headboard chocolate mints foily on top waste basket empty all drawers bare nothing hanging in closet desk uncluttered channel guide, pen&pad, roomContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “First Moment in Hotel Room””
Latest from Book of Nothing: “120th/Sheridan”
My girlfriend and I had just moved to Westminster, and we needed a houseplant for the new apartment. “We need to have something alive in there,” I said. “We need to start a jungle in there.” “Of course,” she said, “how else will we breathe?” So we went down to 120th and Sheridan where allContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “120th/Sheridan””
Latest from Book of Baseball: “What’s the Catcher Hiding?”
all that equipment… helmet chest protector shin&knee guards all tucked down… low on knees between bulky batter and heavy-set ump everyone watching the pitch&bat anyway the catcher could be hiding anything and no one would know… maybe vaseline? maybe performance enhancing drugs? or an extra ball to fool everyone? they say there once was aContinue reading “Latest from Book of Baseball: “What’s the Catcher Hiding?””
Jonathan Bluebird Montgomery 