In college I interned briefly at a radio station. I loved the radio and believed at the time my future career needed to directly relate to something I loved. I thought everything there would feel just like it did listening to my favorite songs, but I soon realized it was just an office. With computersContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “Internshit””
Author Archives: jonathanmontgomery
Latest from Book of Nothing: “The Soviet Space Program”
Mmm… there’s nothing scarier than the Soviet Space Program… wanting so badly to beat America to every milestone unconcerned with the value of the individual… just as many of ours died in horrible explosions but the Russians were so secretive it’s easy to imagine way worse things were happening like maybe they were even causingContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “The Soviet Space Program””
Latest from Book of Nothing: “I Lost My Winter Hat at the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame”
It was a good winter hat. Blue. Knit. Fit real snug over my head. There was no silly poof-up or anything. I’d had it for a couple years and expected to have it a couple more. It was January in Cleveland, so I hadta wear it when my girlfriend and I went to The RockNRollContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “I Lost My Winter Hat at the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame””
Latest from Book of Nothing: “The Worst Cab Driver I’ve Ever Had”
I picked up this woman downtown. She said where she was going and nothing else. Most passengers said nothing. And I said nothing. And we both liked it that way. We got all the way to her drop off before she spoke again. “You’re the worst cab driver I’ve ever had.”
Latest from Book of Nothing: “First Moment in Hotel Room”
Yesss just like the housekeepers left it like no one has ever stayed there before air crisp scent fresh carpet vacuumed kingsized bed sheets pulled up so tightly row of pillows upright against headboard chocolate mints foily on top waste basket empty all drawers bare nothing hanging in closet desk uncluttered channel guide, pen&pad, roomContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “First Moment in Hotel Room””
Latest from Book of Nothing: “120th/Sheridan”
My girlfriend and I had just moved to Westminster, and we needed a houseplant for the new apartment. “We need to have something alive in there,” I said. “We need to start a jungle in there.” “Of course,” she said, “how else will we breathe?” So we went down to 120th and Sheridan where allContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “120th/Sheridan””
Latest from Book of Baseball: “What’s the Catcher Hiding?”
all that equipment… helmet chest protector shin&knee guards all tucked down… low on knees between bulky batter and heavy-set ump everyone watching the pitch&bat anyway the catcher could be hiding anything and no one would know… maybe vaseline? maybe performance enhancing drugs? or an extra ball to fool everyone? they say there once was aContinue reading “Latest from Book of Baseball: “What’s the Catcher Hiding?””
Latest from Book of Baseball: “Sometimes Opening Day Is in July”
Sometimes Opening Day is in July and everyone wants to know why but the Gods of Baseball will not say sometimes they play to near empty stadiums bleacher mannequins and knock-off crowd hums locker rooms stocked with Purell drums sometimes the W.H.O. is on first masked baserunners steal second and third and the Toronto BlueContinue reading “Latest from Book of Baseball: “Sometimes Opening Day Is in July””
Latest from Book of Baseball: “The Death of Baseball”
My Old Roommate and I were watching the NBA playoffs on TV. The score was close, the crowd was fierce, the announcers were hyperventilating, and I hadta do a lot of yelling at the screen. “In the name of Adrenaline!” I cried, “my team must win or else!” At the next timeout, to avoid theContinue reading “Latest from Book of Baseball: “The Death of Baseball””
Latest from Book of Baseball: “Todd Van Poppel”
Todd Van Poppel Todd Van Poppel pitching prospect limitless potential Todd Van Poppel Todd Van Poppel Oakland Athletics already unstoppable Todd Van Puppy Todd Very Pristine toast of ‘91 Beckett’s Magazine Wodd of Dollars Van Odd Cents sportscard show whole allowance In Todd We Trust We the Poppel believe just keep it safe in aContinue reading “Latest from Book of Baseball: “Todd Van Poppel””
