Latest from Book of Nothing: “Two Cowboys at an Arizona Gas Station during the Youknow…”

They were just standing there near my pump, looking like something from an earlier era of The West. Vests, belts, boots – all leather. Flannels, buckles, blue jeans – all faded. Hats, side-burns, mustaches – all huge. There was probably a sixshooter in there somewhere. There was probably a horse&saddle just over there. “Uh oh,”Continue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “Two Cowboys at an Arizona Gas Station during the Youknow…””

Latest from Book of Nothing: “Sleepy Cab”

Sometimes on the weekends I’d be driving cab so late that all the drunks had gotten home and it had become the next day. And then I’d get a DIA trip. It would mean another 50 minutes there and 50 minutes back, but it would also mean another 100 bucks, so I couldn’t pass itContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “Sleepy Cab””

Latest from Book of Nothing: “Complete Success/Total Failure”

I very fluidly strolled into the bank to get laundry money. There was no line, and I was able to go right up to the teller. “Quarters,” I said. “How much?” he asked. “Ten bucks,” I said without missing a beat. I had two five-dollar bills all ready to go. They slipped effortlessly from myContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “Complete Success/Total Failure””

Latest from Book of Nothing: “The Soviet Space Program”

Mmm… there’s nothing scarier than the Soviet Space Program… wanting so badly to beat America to every milestone unconcerned with the value of the individual… just as many of ours died in horrible explosions but the Russians were so secretive it’s easy to imagine way worse things were happening like maybe they were even causingContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “The Soviet Space Program””

Latest from Book of Nothing: “First Moment in Hotel Room”

Yesss just like the housekeepers left it like no one has ever stayed there before air crisp scent fresh carpet vacuumed kingsized bed sheets pulled up so tightly row of pillows upright against headboard chocolate mints foily on top waste basket empty all drawers bare nothing hanging in closet desk uncluttered channel guide, pen&pad, roomContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “First Moment in Hotel Room””

Latest from Book of Nothing: “120th/Sheridan”

My girlfriend and I had just moved to Westminster, and we needed a houseplant for the new apartment. “We need to have something alive in there,” I said. “We need to start a jungle in there.” “Of course,” she said, “how else will we breathe?” So we went down to 120th and Sheridan where allContinue reading “Latest from Book of Nothing: “120th/Sheridan””

Latest from Book of Baseball: “What’s the Catcher Hiding?”

all that equipment… helmet chest protector shin&knee guards all tucked down… low on knees between bulky batter and heavy-set ump everyone watching the pitch&bat anyway the catcher could be hiding anything and no one would know… maybe vaseline? maybe performance enhancing drugs? or an extra ball to fool everyone? they say there once was aContinue reading “Latest from Book of Baseball: “What’s the Catcher Hiding?””

Latest from Book of Baseball: “Sometimes Opening Day Is in July”

Sometimes Opening Day is in July and everyone wants to know why but the Gods of Baseball will not say sometimes they play to near empty stadiums bleacher mannequins and knock-off crowd hums locker rooms stocked with Purell drums sometimes the W.H.O. is on first masked baserunners steal second and third and the Toronto BlueContinue reading “Latest from Book of Baseball: “Sometimes Opening Day Is in July””

Latest from Book of Baseball: “Todd Van Poppel”

Todd Van Poppel Todd Van Poppel pitching prospect limitless potential Todd Van Poppel Todd Van Poppel Oakland Athletics already unstoppable Todd Van Puppy Todd Very Pristine toast of ‘91 Beckett’s Magazine Wodd of Dollars Van Odd Cents sportscard show whole allowance In Todd We Trust We the Poppel believe just keep it safe in aContinue reading “Latest from Book of Baseball: “Todd Van Poppel””

Latest from Book of Baseball: A List of Former Major Leaguers

And now I will compose a list of former Major League Baseball players… B’cuz I remember their names so easily. My summer action figures and childhood dictionary, I played with their syllables all season. Often as rhythmic and graceful as their on field play, so crisp and delicious sounding, you just wanted to bite rightContinue reading “Latest from Book of Baseball: A List of Former Major Leaguers”