In the my-own part of my life I never speak to doctors except to solve medical problems for $30 a pop. “My kidney stone is killing me every single day,” I tell them. “Well, it shouldn’t be,” they tell me. “Ohhhkay,” I sigh and think, man, what authority! What an unflinching barrier between us! It’sContinue reading “Latest from Book of Pain: “Two Old Doctors Reminisce””
Tag Archives: pain
Latest from Book of Pain: “Pain Scale”
When I got to the ER the Doctor asked me, “On a scale of 1-10 how bad is your pain right now?” “10,” I said, and they gave me some drugs. When the Paramedics put me in the ambulance to another hospital they asked me the same thing. “Still an 8,” I told them, andContinue reading “Latest from Book of Pain: “Pain Scale””
Latest from Book of Pain: “It’s Harder to Diagnose When Multiple Things Are Going On”
“Where’s the pain?” the Doctor asked.
I pointed to my right abdomen.
“And when does it hurt?” he asked.
“Whenever I walk for any period of time,” I said, “also when I listen to the Counting Crows “Hanginaround,” or sometimes for no reason at all.”
“Counting Crows, eh?” the Doctor raised his brow.
Latest from Book of Pain: “Brad the Manager”
Brad the Manager, brrrgged thru the door, clutching his side and squinting tightly. “What’s wrong with him?” I asked one of the other servers. “Kidney stone,” they told me. “What a trooper!” I didn’t like the way ‘trooper’ sounded.
Latest from Book of Pain: “Acupuncture-on-Solstice”
I’m in pain. So I went to get rid of it at Acupunture-on-Solstice. Where they stick tiny needles in your flesh while the sun takes the longest time to set.
Jonathan Bluebird Montgomery 